Problem Statement
Currently, our group has identified that the main problem is that interpersonal skills are lacking in NUS graduates especially those entering teaching career. For instance, the results of a research done by NUS in 2000, showed the lack of interpersonal skills in the graduates and that this could greatly impact the teaching industry in the long run.
Moreover, the increasing amount of complaints by parents and students on teachers nowadays shows that miscommunications have always existed and nothing has been done to address this issue. Furthermore, FOS is more focused on academic knowledge, rather than communication and interpersonal skills. As compared to School of business’ graduates, who undergo compulsory communication and interpersonal skills modules, FOS’s graduates had lesser opportunities to practice these skills. This is a serious problem as communication and interpersonal skills are required greatly in all careers, especially in the teaching industry.
Most importantly, for NUS to continue producing future leaders with necessary skills, especially better interpersonal skills to give us an edge over others, there seems to be a need for NUS to rectify this situation.
Purpose Statement
We seek the support of the NUSEU by letting them know of the current situation in NUS where the students are not provided with ample opportunities to practice interpersonal communication skills in their major modules or in effective communication modules as understood through our analysis on the teaching industry. We hope that an awareness of this need would be recognized and hence worked upon to improve the communication skills needs of students.
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things to focus on
ReplyDelete- organistion of ideas
- content
Hi Shi TIng,
ReplyDeleteAs decided, I have focussed on the organisation and the content of your part while reviewing it.
As for the "Problem Statement", I find your content very relevant. I liked how you had a supporting evidence ( such as the survey) with every stance you take. I also, liked how you explained the lack of interpersonal skills in general first and then zoomed into its relevance to the Science Faculty. Organisation-wise, I was just wondering why you did not have the first sentence of the second para at the end of the first para. To me the first para seems to be focussing on teaching and communication skills. While the second para is more on NUS and how they are (not) able to develop their students communication skills.
As for the "Purpose Statement", I did understand that you want NUSEU to recognize that the lack of communication skills NUS graduates possess. But, it maybe just me, I had to infer that you wanted NUSEU to support you'll in further looking into this matter and gaining a better perspective.
ReplyDeleteOrganisation-wise, it seems quite straight forward. Though I did find the first sentence a little long and took a bit of an effort on my part to follow it.
Also, for the Purpose Statement, it would be nice if you could include the benefits of actually making the "change". :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post and today's discussion. Here are some impressions I have, first of the problem statement:
ReplyDelete1)"...the results of (a) research done by NUS in 2000(,) showed the lack of interpersonal skills in the graduates and that this could greatly impact the teaching industry in the long run."
According to whom? You need to explain where this research was published.
2) "Furthermore, FOS is more focused on academic knowledge, rather than communication and interpersonal skills."
Where do you initiate the discussion of FOS? Is there a context for your focus on FOS?
3) School of business’ graduates >>> SOB? caps?
4) "This is a serious problem as communication and interpersonal skills are required greatly in all careers, especially in the teaching industry."
Can you provide a reference for this?
Regarding the purpose statement, I'd suggest you ask yourselves if this is clearly stated. It seems convoluted to me.